Aniki - Fujicest fic.

[krystalepyon]

Summary: Fujicest. Fuji loves his brother, but when Yuuta changes their relationship forever, how is he supposed to react? What he wants and what he knows he should do are very different things, especially when Tezuka gets involved. F/Y, T/F Angst, Inc, Lemon, Yaoi.

Author: Krystal_Epyon
Email: [e-mail]
Title: Aniki
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Incest, Angst... I think that about covers it.
Pairings: Fuji Syusuke/Fuji Yuuta [Fuji/Tezuka]

Notes: I've been writing an alarming amount of PoT lately, and all but one fic containing Fuji. It occurred to me that he's been the aggressor in everything and I wanted to write something where he wasn't quite in control of the circumstances. Who else could pull that off but his dear little brother Yuuta?

Aniki

Yuuta stood outside his brother’s door, staring at the solid wood. Downstairs, he could hear his sister bustling about in the kitchen, washing dishes, unaware of the intentions Yuuta had for his brother.

Clenching his fists, he took a calming breath, and then knocked.

“Come in.”

Syusuke was sitting on the edge of his bed, one leg folded under him, the other touching the floor. He was browsing a botanical magazine spread open beside him.

“Yuuta,” he said by way of greeting, sounding somewhat surprised.

Before the elder Fuji could slip into sibling mode, Yuuta closed the door behind him.

“Aniki,” he stated, almost calmly.

Without leaving himself a chance to hesitate, he strode forward and grabbed Syusuke by the arms, leaning down to press his lips against his brother’s.

Surprisingly, Syusuke didn’t struggle or push him away, and after several seconds, Yuuta broke the kiss. A moment later, he let go of Syusuke’s arms, and then backed up a pace, trying to control his nervously hitching breath.

“Yuuta,” Syusuke breathed, confusion in his tone, and a slight shift in his expression that read as surprise.

Other than that, Syusuke stayed silent, and Yuuta, waiting impatiently for his brother to say something, realized that it was up to him to explain his actions or else run for it. He clenched his trembling hands.

“Aniki,” he began, pausing to lick his dry lips. However, lips licked, dry status averted, Yuuta still didn’t continue. He just stared at his brother, unable to say any of the things he’d rehearsed. Jumpy, he flinched when Syusuke stood and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling kindly as he always did.

“What’s this about?” Syusuke asked.

He sounded encouraging and caring, and Yuuta found himself relaxing automatically under the influence of that disarming smile. Staring helplessly at Syusuke’s comforting expression, Yuuta tilted his face to the side, rubbing his cheek against the hand on his shoulder like a helpless kitten. How was it that his brother managed to reduce him to this pathetic, voiceless lump? Hadn’t he come here for a reason?

“I’m tired of coming second to you,” he practically whined.

“Ahh,” Syusuke breathed. “Now I understand. You were hoping some of my tensai talent would rub off-”

“Don’t joke!” Yuuta exclaimed. If there was ever a time to get Syusuke to stop treating him like a kid, this was it. “I’m not stupid, Aniki. I kissed you. I meant to kiss you.”

Now Syusuke sounded worried. “Yuuta, why-?”

“Because I’m attracted to you, moron!” Yuuta snapped, throwing Syusuke’s hand off his shoulder. He was terrified and angry at the same time. When he was through, his brother would probably be disgusted and embarrassed, but there was no way he could go on any longer without baring his feelings. “Every time I see your stupid, grinning face, I think about kissing you. So I did.”

“Yuuta, I’m your brother.”

The difference in Syusuke’s usual expression was not to be found in the eyes... Rather, it was his mouth. The corners of his lips were so often pulled up that when he expressed shock, or disapproval, the change was obvious to anyone who knew him.

Now, Yuuta’s eyes lingered on the corners of Syusuke’s mouth, mesmerized by the slight downturn to his lips. “I know that,” Yuuta told him, still staring at Syusuke’s mouth rather than meeting his eyes. “I’m reminded of that every time someone addresses me.”

*

Fuji stared blankly at his brother, unsure of what was going on. He felt - for once - as though he was out of his depth. What was Yuuta playing at? Was this a joke? His idea of pulling one over on his overly praised older brother? How was Fuji supposed to react?

He knew how he wanted to react, but that was certainly not an option.

…It was okay. He could deal with this. Just smile, keep calm, and pretend like he wasn’t half hard from Yuuta’s antics.

“Yuuta, is something bothering you? Do you want to talk to me?” Fuji asked, pleased with the smooth way his voice came out.

Scowling, Yuuta took a step forward. Automatically, Fuji backed away from the proximity.

“I want you to stop treating me like a kid,” Yuuta growled.

Fuji’s legs touched the bed, and he felt his cheeks grow warm. There was something about the predatory way Yuuta was advancing that simply pounced on the thought of ‘bed’. Sensing danger, Fuji sidestepped, and Yuuta followed.

“Treat me like a person, not your damned kid brother,” Yuuta continued.

“I do treat you like a person,” Fuji argued. “And you are my little brother,” he pointed out. “What’s gotten into you?” He hit the wall.

“Damn it,” Yuuta muttered, caging Fuji against the wall by placing his hands on either side of his brother’s body. “This isn’t how this was supposed to go.”

Almost afraid to ask, Fuji did so anyway, against his better judgment. “How what was supposed to-?”

Yuuta kissed him once more, effectively cutting him off. Only, this time, an insistent tongue pressed against his lips, prying them open and slipping inside.

It wasn’t that Fuji didn’t know he should be pushing Yuuta away. He was quite aware of that. However, even as he thought of doing so, his hands rested lightly on his brother’s waist, and his tongue gently pushed back.

*

Yuuta was pressing his luck and he knew it. Even if Syusuke was one of the most patient people in the world, he still had his limits. It didn’t seem to matter, though. All the carefully planned excuses and defiant retorts had completely slipped Yuuta’s mind the moment his lips had first touched Syusuke’s. Now, it was all he could do not to turn and flee.

So he kissed Syusuke, instead. It might be the wrong thing to do, but it was better than running and hiding for all of his life because he never found the courage to reveal his feelings – even if the only way he seemed to be able to do that was through physical contact.

He expected to be rejected at any moment, so, naturally, when Syusuke actually kissed him back, he felt the most amazing rush of elation. He didn’t care about the why of the matter, only that it was happening.

Syusuke’s tongue, Syusuke’s lips… He pressed closer, instantly turned on as he felt his brother’s erection poking into his pelvis. He shifted until his own hardness brushed against it, and moaned into Syusuke’s mouth.

The kiss deepened, and the brothers’ tongues tangled. Yuuta tilted his head back, no longer needing to play the aggressor as he wound his arms around his brother’s neck. He whimpered in disappointment as Syusuke’s tongue withdrew, but gasped as his lower lip was nipped, sucked, and then gently licked.

Breathing hard, he shifted, his lips barely brushing over Syusuke’s as he tried to revive the passionate kiss. His brother evaded him, panting softly and blowing little puffs of air onto Yuuta’s wet lips.

“Yuuta,” he breathed suddenly. “You shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Oh, and you’re trying real hard to keep your tongue out of my mouth,” Yuuta retorted, grinding into his brother’s rock hard erection as he once again tried to capture Syusuke’s lips and was foiled.

“You started this,” Syusuke reminded him, gasping all the same.

Smirking, Yuuta figuratively backed off, redirecting to whisper into his brother’s ear. “And those are your hands on my ass.”

Syusuke froze. Then, slowly, he removed his groping limbs, withdrawing them to hang limply at his sides.

“There,” he said. “Now it’s your turn.”

“Like hell,” Yuuta growled, crushing Syusuke’s lips with his own once more as he ground his erection into his brother’s.

Despite his arguments, Syusuke moaned into Yuuta’s mouth, his own hips bucking in pursuit of friction. Determined to destroy the tensai’s self control, Yuuta focused on providing that friction rather than his own pleasure. He wanted Syusuke to get off, his tongue undeniably tangled with his younger brother’s, and his cock twitching between their bodies.

Just the thought made him groan, and Syusuke returned the sound, the vibration causing his tongue to tingle. One of Yuuta’s hands slipped beneath his brother’s shirt, sliding over heated skin until he found his target. Pinching the pert bud, he rocked his hips, and Syusuke gasped and moaned.

The tensai gripped Yuuta’s shoulders, probably with the intention of pushing him away. Instead, he pulled Yuuta closer as the younger brother rolled his nipple between thumb and finger. Panting, Yuuta broke the kiss so he could watch Syusuke’s expression as he came.

It was every bit as sexy as he’d imagined, perhaps more. His cheeks flushed, pieces of hair sticking to his face, Syusuke tipped his head back and moaned, the pace of his bucking hips increasing. Yuuta continued playing with his brother’s nipple as he shifted so Syusuke was grinding into his hip. His other hand slipped inside his own pants, squeezing his aching cock.

As Syusuke came with several ragged, jolting thrusts against Yuuta’s body, the younger brother quickly stroked himself off, his eyes wide open, appreciating every twitch of Syusuke’s features. He came a moment later, grunting as he soiled his hand and boxers.

Sagging, Yuuta rested his face against his brother’s chest, one hand in his pants, the other palm flattened beside his cheek. “Syusuke,” he sighed, knowing that he was probably going to lose his loving brother after this.

He flinched instinctively as Syusuke’s arms began to slide around his shoulders, hugging him closer instead of flinging him away. Surprised, he stood there, crushed in his brother’s arms.

Slowly, he drew his hand out of his pants, wiping the semen off on the inside of his boxers as he did so. “Aniki?” he asked, his voice barely a whimper.

Syusuke said nothing, just held him, burying his face in Yuuta’s hair. Not quite understanding, but relieved that he wasn’t being tossed out just yet, Yuuta relaxed, closing his eyes and savoring the comfortable embrace.

*

Fuji felt as though he was going to cry. He was ashamed of what he’d just done, and riddled with guilt that he couldn’t stop it.

Breathing in the scent of Yuuta’s shampoo, tightening his embrace of the boy in his arms, Fuji knew he’d gone too far. He should never have allowed this to happen. He should have cut it off at that first awkward kiss. If he hadn’t half been hoping it would lead to more the entire time, he would have. If he was a better brother, he would have.

Now, he felt dirty and soiled, the sticky substance coating his groin a testament to his depravity. It didn’t matter that Yuuta had been perfectly willing to encourage him and had, in fact, started the whole thing. It didn’t matter that Yuuta had ‘enjoyed’ the exchange as much as he had. Fuji was older and supposedly more responsible. It was his job to protect and support his brother, not to defile him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I couldn’t stop.”

*

“I’m sorry.”

The whispered words startled Yuuta out of his blissful state of forgetfulness, and he was once more reminded that the person he was clinging to was his own brother.

“I couldn’t stop.”

What was Syusuke apologizing for? Yuuta was the one who had seduced him, made him lose control… Was Syusuke blaming himself?

“I didn’t want you to,” Yuuta argued. “Aniki…” He pulled back, slipping out of Syusuke’s arms. He couldn’t see his brother’s face, it was hidden by the hair falling around his hanging head. Was he that embarrassed? Or was he angry? Or perhaps ashamed of the brother who would force him to do such a thing? "I didn't want you to..."

Unable to take his brother’s silence, Yuuta backed away. “I’m sorry,” he breathed, before he turned and ran. He thought about heading for his room, but he couldn’t stay there where Syusuke could confront him.

“Yuuta, you’re leaving already?” his sister called as he rushed past her, holding his sticky palm against his shirt and scooping up his bag with the clean hand.

“Yeah, I just remembered an assignment due tomorrow. I need Mizuki-senpai’s help,” he bullshitted haphazardly as he beelined for the door.

“Well, when are you coming back?” she called after him.

“I don’t know!” Yuuta replied, tears stinging his eyes as he wondered if he would ever be able to face his brother again.

*

Fuji didn’t move, save to lean heavily against the wall as the door clicked shut. If he’d chased after Yuuta he would have said something he couldn’t take back, and as bad as the situation already was, it could easily get worse.

As if he didn’t already feel shameful enough, the memory of Yuuta’s lips on his own, and tongue in his mouth caused his spent cock to twitch with interest. Too vividly, he could feel Yuuta’s erection grinding into his thigh; those fingers, tennis-calloused like his own, grazing his chest.

How was he supposed to resist those naïve touches, those devastatingly innocent kisses? But they weren’t so naïve and innocent, were they? Yuuta had touched and kissed him of his own volition. He was growing up, just as Fuji was.

Weakly, Fuji sighed and pushed off the wall. He needed to shower.

Undressing, he examined the damage and determined that he’d have to throw the pants away. That wasn’t a stain he could get out himself, and it wasn’t as if he could explain the incident to his mother – or worse, his sister.

Fuji could understand Yuuta’s urge to experiment. He could even understand a slight affinity for an older brother who was handsome, talented, and... oh, so very modest.

At that, Fuji chuckled to himself as he wrapped a towel about his waist, but the mirth quickly faded.

What worried him was that Yuuta had acted on desires that he himself had been suppressing for some time now. It wasn’t right for brothers to want each other. It had been bad enough when it was just Fuji and his sordid dreams and rare, indulgent fantasies. If Yuuta felt the same way…

Was that why he had moved away? Was the scorn and jealousy that he preached just a cover for even more unsavory feelings?

Heading for the bathroom, Fuji wondered if he would ever be able to organize his thoughts again.

[krystalepyon]

I couldn't resist... I TRIED to make it solely Fujicest, but I'm weak! WEAK! Thus, Tezuka has inevitably entered the picture. Only Inui knows where it will go from here... Then again, when it concerns Fuji, not even Inui may have all the answers.

Buchou

“First years, round up the balls. Fuji… Come with me.”

Fuji paused. Practice was over, what did Tezuka want?

Perhaps to scold him on his dismal performance? Not that he didn’t beat every one of his practice opponents, but his heart - no - his mind just wasn’t in it. He'd lagged in laps, but his accuracy was fine, just not… perfect.

Was Tezuka going to call him out on not playing his best? Maybe threaten that if he didn’t get it together, he would be off the team?

Outwardly, Fuji smiled and nodded, dropping the bag that had been halfway to his shoulder to follow Tezuka into the school. Why they couldn’t just talk in a quiet spot was beyond him. Instead, Tezuka dragged him all the way up to a classroom overlooking the courts where the first years were scurrying about after the scattered tennis balls.

When Tezuka didn’t speak immediately, Fuji wandered over to the windows to watch. He couldn’t really blame Tezuka if he was angry. It was bad enough that Fuji had no drive to win in the first place. The way he’d played today…

He couldn’t help it. He was distracted. Yuuta’s actions last night, and his own response… He just didn’t know what to do, and it was reflected in his tennis. His usually natural focus was in shambles.

“Fuji.”

Fuji jumped, almost to prove his last thought. Normally, not even Tezuka would be able to sneak up on him.

The captain’s hands came down on his shoulders as if to keep him from running away. Fuji took a calming breath, afraid of what Tezuka would say.

“What’s wrong?”

Fuji spun around, his eyes widening in surprise. He searched Tezuka’s face for some sign of levity or derision, but it didn’t seem to be a joke. Was Tezuka offering him counsel?

“Nothing’s wrong,” Fuji replied once he found his tongue, regaining his smile in the blink of an eye. “Why would you ask?” Oops. Dumb question.

“You don’t seem to be yourself today,” Tezuka replied, wrapping up all the little discrepancies Fuji had demonstrated in that neat little sentence.

“That's not it. I’m just tired,” Fuji told him, willing his voice to its most calm and soothing tone. “It’s been-”

“I’ve seen you tired, Fuji,” Tezuka cut in, his eyes narrowing. “This isn’t it.”

Damn. Fuji stopped trying. There was no point in further attempting to fool the captain.

Turning away to look out the window once more, he watched the first years for a little longer before he spoke. “Something happened last night that I don’t quite understand,” he said eventually. Chuckling derisively, he leaned against the window. “That’s a new experience for me, you know.”

“Not understanding?” Tezuka sounded amused. Lucky him.

Fuji sighed. “Precisely.” A pause. “I’m not joking.”

“Obviously, if it’s affecting you enough to show in your game,” Tezuka replied calmly.

His voice was just as neutral as ever, so why did it suddenly sound so mocking?

“I’m sorry,” Fuji muttered. “If you want to remove me from the regulars, I’ll understand.”

Tezuka laughed. He actually laughed.

Fuji turned on him, hurt and angry. He was planning to snap and get out of there before he embarrassed himself further, but Tezuka spoke before he could get around to it.

“Fuji, even at your worst, you’re irreplaceable,” he said seriously. “I’m sorry I laughed, it’s just that you’re jumping at shadows.”

Fuji’s first instinct was, once again, to be angry, but then he sighed, hanging his head and leaning back against the window. “You’re right. I am.”

“Want to talk about it?”

Yeah. Right. Talk. To Tezuka. About wanting to screw his own dear Ototo… Come to think of it, talking to Tezuka about screwing ANYTHING would be bad enough.

“…No.”

Fuji made to brush past him, but Tezuka grabbed his shoulders, stopping him in his tracks.

“Fuji, I’m not going to drop you unless your game gets drastically worse, but this needs to stop. Soon. Even the first years will start to notice-”

Fuji cut the captain off. “Tezuka, have you ever played that word game where you respond to a noun with whatever comes to mind?” he snapped.

Tezuka frowned. “Yes, I think so. Why?”

His smile practically a sneer, Fuji silkily asked. “Did you ever answer anything other than tennis?”

Instantly, Tezuka’s confused expression soured at the punch line. “Fine. I’m worried about you, not your damn tennis. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Not really.” Fuji looked away, feeling guilty. He hadn’t meant to lash out like that… “I’m sorry,” he all but mumbled.

“Apology accepted.”

Tezuka slowly let go of his shoulders as if Fuji would bolt the moment he was released. Truthfully, the tensai contemplated it. What really stopped him was that he knew Tezuka was faster and would easily catch up to him.

What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t be honest about what had happened last night. Tezuka didn’t even know he was gay. If he said he’d engaged in incestuous actions with his own brother… That might just be enough to get Fuji kicked off the team, out of school, and maybe even shamed out of the country – tensai or not.

“Listen,” he began. “Tezuka, I appreciate the effort. Really. But I do not want to talk about it – and I never will. I can’t. I won’t. Now, please just let me-”

Fuji gasped in surprise as he was pulled into Tezuka’s arms and almost crushed against the captain’s body.

“Shhh,” Tezuka instructed quietly into Fuji’s hair. “I was wrong to use tennis as an excuse. I – What I wanted to say was…” He sighed, pausing to start over. “Fuji, I hate that false smile. You can walk into a tense and angry atmosphere and instantly diffuse the situation just by smiling. You might… You might think that smile of yours is the perfect mask, but I can tell. Even more than if you frowned, or scowled, or showed any other expression directly connected to your emotions… I can see right through that smile when it’s not genuine… and it hurts me. So, whatever it is, whatever is bothering you… Even if you don’t want to talk to me, if there’s something I can do to fix the pain…” Tezuka held him even tighter, if possible. “I’ll do it.”

Fuji, frozen with shock at this… emotional display from their stoic captain, almost forgot to mention that he couldn’t breathe. As it was, he tried to draw breath to sob, only then remembering. “Te-Tezuka… Can’t… can’t breathe…” By the time the hug loosened, Fuji already had tears streaming down his cheeks.

All the anger, confusion, and self loathing he’d been bottling up all day came pouring out thanks to Tezuka’s unexpected experiment in feelings. Damn him! And Damn Yuuta for making Fuji feel like this! And damn Fuji himself for letting any of this happen! What kind of tensai was he if he couldn’t even avoid this stupid, complicated, emotional crap!?

It really wasn’t as bad as his wracking sobs made out. In fact, it was hardly anything at all. So he’d kissed his brother. So he’d crossed the line. So he’d corrupted the one sacred thing in his life that he wanted only to protect…

The sobs grew harsher until Fuji was practically clinging to Tezuka to stay upright. What the hell was wrong with him? His mind felt perfectly rational for once, but his body just wouldn’t stop fucking crying.

Stop... Stop! Just fucking stop! Stop! stop! ...Stop crying! Stop!

But it wouldn’t stop. For once, someone was just holding Fuji and letting him cry. It wasn’t the tensai softly weeping in his room, or being coerced into smiling by his often mother, or ordered to stop acting like a girl by his even more distant father, or teased by his brother… Tezuka was just holding him and letting him pour out all of the emotional build-up that had been locked within his body, probably for years.

By the time the tears became trickles and sobs turned into sniffles, Fuji was on the floor, draped over Tezuka who was still holding him upright, softly stroking his hair.

“It’s… it’s not that bad,” Fuji choked out, needing Tezuka to understand. “I… I don’t know where that came from…” He did, but he couldn’t even begin to express that at this point, and he didn’t want to.

“Shhh, I know,” Tezuka whispered.

It felt as if the captain kissed his hair, but Fuji couldn’t be sure.

More importantly… “I feel better,” he offered. “Kind of.” Hopefully this would satisfy Tezuka’s curiosity, or sympathy, or whatever it was. “I can think more clearly, at least.”

“That’s good.” Tezuka just continued to hold him and stroke his hair, as if sensing that Fuji wasn’t quite done.

Suddenly feeling exhausted, Fuji buried his face in Tezuka’s shoulder, but turned it towards the captain’s neck so that only his cheek was resting against the damp material. “Sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to do that.”

“If it helped, then I don’t mind,” Tezuka replied.

“Why are you being so… nice?” Fuji asked with a little laugh.

Even at his most friendly, Tezuka was all rational conversation and passive listening. Fuji had never known him to actively pursue a personal subject. He really was only aggressive about tennis, at least that Fuji had seen.

When Fuji noticed how long the pause had dragged out, he began to pull away, but Tezuka finally answered.

“If I have to tell you, then you don’t need to know.”

What kind of an answer was that? It was such a cliche... Tezuka probably didn't even understand the usual meaning behind the phrase.

Stupid Tezuka.

Finally pulling out of the captain's arms, Fuji wiped his eyes on his sleeve, then made a face. “I need to shower.”

Tezuka got to his feet, holding out a hand for Fuji. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”

…That would be Tezuka making fun of him. Asshole.

Fuji ignored the helping hand, standing by himself. He didn’t want this to become a habit. Better make it clear to Tezuka that as of this moment, they were absolutely back to normal.

He smiled.

Tezuka frowned.

“Thank you,” Fuji said politely before making his escape.

He wasn’t certain, but he thought he heard a growl follow him out the door.

*

Tezuka watched his tensai make a quick escape – He wasn’t sure when he had started referring to Fuji in his mind as ‘his’ tensai, but in a way it was true. Fuji belonged to Seigaku, and Tezuka WAS Seigaku. Thus, Fuji was his.

That was, of course, wishful thinking. Fuji would have it that he belonged to nothing and no one, and he was, of course, right.

Tezuka was especially reminded of that at times like this.

He had never expected Fuji to break down crying in his arms. All he had wanted was to find out what was so obviously wrong. All he had wanted was to show Fuji he was there – that he could be a good friend.

Instead, Tezuka lost control of himself in the face of Fuji's despair.

Consequently, Fuji had either felt safe enough, or had simply given up to the point that he allowed himself to let go. Then, suddenly, it was all over, and that hideous false smile was back in place. Fuji left so quickly that Tezuka could still see that fake expression like an afterimage.

Though he did not often capitulate to curiosity, Tezuka longed to know what Fuji was hiding beneath that mask of his.

[krystalepyon]

Bad Aniki!

Fuji didn’t expect to see Yuuta for at least a week. So, naturally, he was surprised when he opened his bedroom door to see his brother sitting on his bed.

“Yuuta!” he exclaimed, much as he had the previous night.

“Hey… Aniki,” Yuuta muttered, staring at the ground rather than looking Fuji in the eyes. “Listen, I wasn't going to come back, probably for a while, but... I just couldn't leave it like that. So... I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to-”

“Yuuta!” Fuji cried again, finally overcoming his initial shock and dashing to pull the smaller boy into his arms and hold him tight. “Please, forgive me,” Fuji whispered. “I know I’m a terrible brother – I’ve always been a terrible brother, and I’m sorry, I-”

“You’re not a terrible brother!” Yuuta cut in.

“I am, I am! I-”

“No. Stop!” When Fuji kept trying to apologize over him, Yuuta’s patience finally snapped. “Just shut up and listen to me!”

Stopping in his tracks, Fuji backed off. His ‘tensai’ mind finally having caught up with him, rationally analyzed his actions as coming from a trigger of panic and shock. He licked his lips, already planning to apologize for his reaction, but Yuuta spoke before he could.

“You’re not a bad brother, Syusuke, and you can stop apologizing. You didn’t do anything wrong… I did.” He stood up, and suddenly they seemed a lot closer. “I was selfish, and only thinking about myself. I forced you into something you didn’t want to-”

Yuuta sounded so calm, and so unlike himself that Fuji almost started crying again.

His voice cracked as he cut in. “-But I did! I know you were wrong to start it, Yuuta, but I didn’t ‘want’ to end it. I could have stopped you, but I didn’t try!”

“Yes, you did,” Yuuta said quietly, gently taking Fuji’s cheek in his hand. “And I should have taken the hint, but I kept pushing, and… I hurt you.” Fuji shook his head. “I did,” Yuuta mumbled. “I can tell. Otherwise you wouldn’t be crying.”

Fuji hardly realized that there were indeed tears slipping down his cheeks once more, and he wanted to kick himself. How could he show so much weakness in one day?

Taking a deep, calming breath, Fuji gently removed Yuuta’s hand from his cheek. If it stayed there much longer, he wouldn’t have had the will to do so. It was such a tender gesture from his brother, that he wasn’t sure if he was talking to the right Yuuta, anymore.

“When did you grow up?” he breathed in disbelief.

Yuuta looked at their still joined hands. “I went about everything all wrong last night,” he said. “I let myself get frustrated, and I was afraid you would laugh at me, or throw me out, and things got out of hand. What I came to say is that… A-Aniki… Shit. I’m no good at this.”

“Yuuta…” Having calmed down some, Fuji pushed away regret and anger at himself for the moment, his tone turning serious. “What happened last night has opened my eyes to a lot of things that I wish I could forget and ignore. I should have realized my own twisted feelings much earlier, but I was too ignorant. I’m sorry for that. If I’d had time… a chance to process everything…” Stop making excuses. “Yuuta, I love you. You’re my little brother and I love you dearly-”

“Syusuke, I-”

“Shhh, listen,” Fuji whispered. “For years I have done my best to be a good brother, but I always seem to fail, because… because I don’t see you as a brother. I… I think I’ve been trying to overcompensate out of guilt, maybe so you wouldn’t notice. I didn’t want to hurt you, and I guess… I guess I went too far, and I hurt you more by doing so.” Now Yuuta was shaking his head, but Fuji went on. He was on a roll. He had to voice the thoughts as they came to him, because he might not get another chance, or indeed, be brave enough if he actually stopped to think. “I love you, Yuuta, in ways that a brother never should.” Yuuta tried to cut him off again, but he wouldn’t have it. “But it doesn’t matter! I realize that, and that’s why I can’t accept what happened last night. It can’t matter. No matter how I feel, you are my brother, and it’s my duty to remember that.”

*

“You keep trying to blame yourself,” Yuuta sighed.

He was completely confused. For the last several years, he had seen his brother as an enemy, an obstacle to be conquered. Once he had started to become aware of his growing attraction towards his Aniki, he had acted rashly and forced last night’s confrontation to end the confusion within himself. He hadn’t thought of Syusuke at all – that was just how he had always been. Syusuke – the tensai – didn’t need his consideration. Syusuke was perfect, wasn’t he?

In a just a few moments last night, Yuuta’s world had come crashing down. He’d realized that he was wrong – that Syusuke was far from perfect, and that he himself should never have been so selfish. He’d realized the extent of the pressure he’d put on his brother, and even figured out that throwing the ball into the tensai’s court was his way of casting off the blame – but it was a subconscious effort. Suddenly, for the first time in years, he didn’t WANT Syusuke to be at fault. He realized his own mistakes, and he wanted to correct them.

Syusuke wasn’t letting him.

Suddenly, he looked up with determination. “I know this is wrong, and I’m only just starting to realize that my own feelings are a lot deeper than what I thought at first, but… I’ve been pushing you away for so long that I can’t just let this go. I can’t pretend I didn’t enjoy touching you, or kissing you, and I can’t pretend I don’t want to now! Aniki… Syusuke…” He sighed. “It’s not fair, is it?” Yuuta laughed weakly, because he was doing it again. “You’re trying so hard, and I just keep pushing and pushing, and…” He took a deep breath. He couldn’t look his brother in the eyes. “I don’t want to leave tonight, and keep running further and further away, and never come back. And yet… I can’t force you into a corner, either. I don’t have anywhere to go from here, except to say that… I don’t care. So what if you’re my brother? It doesn’t mean anything except that we’re naturally closer to each other than anyone else, and-”

“That isn’t true,” Syusuke cut in. “You know it’s not.”

“In our case, it is!” Yuuta insisted. “You say you don’t see me as a brother, and yet you still love me-”

“And I’m very, very wrong for it, Yuuta-”

“No, you’re not! If I wasn’t… If I wasn’t your brother… You wouldn’t feel this way,” he said, with so much certainty, that Syusuke’s impending argument froze on his tongue.

“What do you mean?” the tensai asked, slightly bewildered.

“You are what you are, and I’ve resented that ever since I was a kid. I wanted to be the special one for once, but you were always better at everything. I’m a selfish brat. I always have been. That’s why you keep trying so hard to prove yourself to me. Because I’m your brother – and I’m the one who’s been a terrible brother – it’s because of that that you want to be closer to me. I know I’m right! It’s because we grew up chasing each other in tragic circles like this that you say you love me.” Syusuke stared at him open-mouthed, and Yuuta blushed, realizing that he’d made a lot of assumptions. “I-it’s just that… If we weren’t brothers, you probably wouldn’t even look at me twice, so…” Damn it! “I don’t fucking care! That ‘brothers’ crap doesn’t mean anything if I’m just going to spend my whole life avoiding and trying to beat you!”

*

Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuck... Fuck!

Why did Yuuta have to make so much sense? Why did Fuji have to feel so protective of him? Why could he not resist wanting to comfort that pain and confusion, even if the only way he could do so was to dive into the pits of hell?

After all, what was a brother? So they were born to the same parents… What did that matter in the end? They were hardly about to go sprouting off defective children…

Damn it! Inbred children could be born defective for a reason! It was nature's way of saying 'This isn't right!'Once couldn’t simply go about ignoring the laws of nature just because they didn't have to deal with the problem of bearing children! He and Yuuta couldn’t be together. It was just that simple.

Hell, Fuji didn’t even know if that was what he really wanted. Maybe he was just enticed by what he couldn’t have. And Yuuta was so young… Despite what he preached, he obviously admired his Aniki… So how much of this was out of genuine affection, and how much was a psychological trick on his young, naïve mind? The same could not, of course, apply to himself – tensai that he was.

Fuji thought he might be trembling, but he couldn’t stop it. He felt like he was losing his mind, because he couldn’t quite figure out ‘why’ it was wrong. He so wanted to find a loop hole…

“Please,” he whispered. “You have to help me, Yuuta. I can’t stay strong anymore.”

*

Yuuta heard his brother’s plea. He had been seconds from just grabbing Syusuke and kissing him, [again,] but the desperate words called a halt to this plan.

Two reactions kicked in simultaneously, freezing him to the spot. The first was to run, just as he had last night. The second was to rage at himself internally, once more, for trying to force Syusuke to make a move.

Suddenly feeling a little faint, he licked his dry lips. The words left his mouth before he could think them over.

“Whose sake are you resisting for?” he asked. The question seemed so important at that moment.

“Yours… of course,” Syusuke replied, and his expression was so innocent that it tore at Yuuta’s heart.

How could he have been so cruel as to try and cut his Aniki out of his life? And for what? Tennis?

“You don’t have to,” he said, taking a step closer. He wasn't very sure about anything, yet, but he went on, anyway. “If I take all the pressure off of you and say that I want this so badly it hurts… If I told you that there’s nothing to consider because I can handle myself… What then?”

Syusuke closed his eyes slowly, looking for all the world like he was about to make the painful decision of pulling the plug on a dying patient’s life support…

“Can’t you do the same for me?” he pleaded. “Just because you don’t regret it now, doesn’t mean you won’t later. What if… What if I did?”

“I’m not as strong as you, Syusuke,” Yuuta admitted, and it was the one time in his life that he didn’t bitterly regret the fact. “I can’t deny what I feel to protect you. I’m not as selfless... I wish I could be.”

“I’m not selfless.”

Syusuke’s eyes opened, and they were crisp, blue slits.

Tense and afraid, wondering if Syusuke was going to push him away at any moment, Yuuta wound his arms around his brother’s neck and reached for forbidden lips. He stared into those beautiful, dangerous blue eyes and felt that it was almost as if Syusuke were suddenly a different person.

It all happened so fast after that. Their lips connected in a deep and passionate kiss, and Yuuta found himself pinned under Syusuke only moments later, arching up into his brother’s body, the soft mattress beneath them.

Despite his earlier conviction, he argued with himself all the way, but soon enough, he found himself devoid of clothing, and Syusuke was kissing him senseless as one unaccountably slick finger probed at his entrance. Yuuta suddenly forgot to continue the debate in his mind when he realized that Syusuke was about to find out that he wasn’t a virgin.

He winced. Syusuke’s eyes narrowed.

“Mizuki’s a dead man,” he hissed.

Damn, but he was good!

“Just shut up and get on with it,” Yuuta grumbled.

Mizuki was the last thing he wanted to talk about with Syusuke’s finger inside of him. He wiggled a little to urge his brother on.

Syusuke didn’t argue – for now. He pushed the limits a little, adding a second finger, and sliding, twisting, and scissoring the two…

Yuuta moaned softly. This was what he’d been thinking about for weeks, if not months. He wasn’t sure when he had started craving his brother sexually, but by the time he figured out it wasn’t just a one off thing – an out of place image as he came to his own hand, or the wrong name on his lips while Mizuki’s were wrapped around his cock… By the time he realized he wanted his own brother, he couldn’t stop thinking about this moment.

He wasn’t given much to regret as three fingers withdrew from him. Syusuke was very gentle, and very adept. Yuuta hadn’t lost a hint of his erection – in fact, it had become painfully hard.

Stalling for time, Syusuke stroked Yuuta’s entrance with his thumb. His eyes were closed, and he seemed to be holding his breath.

“Are you sure?” he asked, after an extended pause.

“I’m sure,” Yuuta moaned. He waited for Syusuke to look him in the eyes. “Fuck me.”

He could almost see the last thread of restraint snap as Syusuke let out his breath with a long, soft groan.

“Aniki,” Yuuta breathed as the head of his brother’s cock pressed against and then into his ass. He forced himself to relax and breathe, but Syusuke had prepped him well, and slowly but surely filled him, causing no pain at all.

*

When he thought about it later, Syusuke thought of what happened as the re-routing of his brain. He simply lost the ability of self control.

Yuuta wanted him. Yuuta wanted him, and the more he resisted, the more he wanted Yuuta, until finally he could no longer maintain resistance.

It was as though the longing and the need to stand firm could not co-exist, and when longing threatened to become the dominant power, Fuji just gave in for fear of going insane.

And that was how he ended up slowly burying himself inside his brother’s ass. He was in heaven. Yuuta was so tight and hot, and it wasn’t as if Fuji had slept with a great many people. In fact, this was only his second time on top.

He was trembling, and had acquired a light sheen of sweat by the time his balls touched Yuuta’s ass cheeks. He stayed there for a short while, taking deep, calming breaths, and allowing Yuuta to adjust.

Apparently, Yuuta didn’t need long. Strong, athletic legs wrapped around Fuji’s waist, and he found himself forced in just that little bit deeper, a loud groan wrung from his lips.

“Please...” Yuuta begged. “Please, I need this.”

Fuji’s body responded directly to the plea, and he began to move, his cock caressed by the tightness of Yuuta’s ass as he pulled back and then drove back in. Slowly, at first, but not for long. Their bodies moved together so well, the legs around him forcing Fuji deeper, harder, and faster, until he was braced on his forearms, his breath huffing into Yuuta’s hair, his cock working quickly and deeply into his brother. His hips were in constant motion, his thighs working to drive him ever further.

He was so caught up in the action, the exquisite friction, the moans and whimpers from his brother, the sensation of pleasure building within him… His orgasm almost caught him by surprise.

“Yuuta!” he moaned at the last second. “I’m coming!”

Yuuta clamped down around him in answer, his body shuddering as he beat Fuji to the punch, moaning, “Aniki!”

“I love you!” Fuji cried, almost begging forgiveness with the words as the release shuddered through his whole body.

He no longer knew whether he spoke the words as a brother, or something far more frightening.

*

Yuuta lay there, sweat soaked. The weight of his larger, but more delicate Aniki was completely comfortable on top of him. His fingers trailed unconsciously through his brother’s hair.

He was conflicted. He wanted to say something, but he was also content to just lay there with Syusuke, pretending that nothing was wrong. He didn’t want to break the moment.

He was now certain of the more advanced feelings that had surfaced in the last twenty-four hours. He wasn’t attracted to Syusuke… It wasn’t that he loved his Aniki… He was IN love.

It was the fact that he never wanted to move, the fact that he was almost terrified of the moment when Syusuke would retreat from his body… That was what gave it away.

But Syusuke didn’t move. He didn’t speak, either.

If Yuuta hadn’t felt the shallow rise and fall of Syusuke's breath, he would have feared his brother was dead. If he hadn't noticed the tension in his Syusuke’s body, he would have thought the tensai asleep. Nervously, he licked his lips, his breath finally under control.

“Aniki?” he prompted quietly. No response. “Syusuke?”

Shit.

“Don’t,” he whispered. “Don’t retreat. Don’t pull away from me.”

A deep, shuddering breath, but he felt no tears falling on his skin. Syusuke’s face was tucked between Yuuta’s neck and shoulder.

“I love you,” he offered.

Finally, Syusuke moved, lifting himself up, and beginning to withdraw from inside of Yuuta. Desperately, Yuuta tightened the hold of his legs.

“Syusuke, please…”

“Yuuta.” The flat, dead, warning tone shut Yuuta up. “Don’t make this worse.”

Now, it was Yuuta who wanted to cry, for so many reasons. Syusuke sounded so degenerate, and that was all Yuuta’s fault. He’d seduced his brother, yet again, and even if it wasn’t completely against Syusuke’s will, it wasn’t fair. Maybe, it would all be okay if they just got through this together, but if Syusuke pushed him away now... He’d expected his loving Aniki to want to take care of him when all was said and done; to be there for him.

Frankly, he was hurt by the cold front he was suddenly receiving, even though he knew he deserved it. Worse than being hurt, however… He was worried. Syusuke sounded so… flat, so lifeless and broken.

Slowly, Yuuta let his brother go, almost whimpering as the tensai’s spent cock slipped from his body. He felt empty, and more alone than he'd ever been in his life.

What had he done? Why did he always have to go too far? If he was lucky, then his brother would hate him. If he wasn’t… God, Syusuke sounded like he was about to give up on far more than the fragile thing that was their relationship.

He grabbed Syusuke’s wrist before the tensai could make it off the bed, and he held on for dear life, saying nothing. He didn't know what to say.

Eventually, Syusuke responded to the slight tugs on his wrist, and slumped down onto the bed, curling up on his side, his back to Yuuta.

“Go to sleep,” he whispered.

*

As Fuji closed his eyes, he clenched his jaw defiantly. He didn’t want to think about what he’d just done. He refused to think about it. But even as he forced himself into sleep, his heart clenched painfully.

He very much wished that Yuuta wouldn’t stay beside him all night. He didn’t think he could handle waking up beside his brother in the morning, covered in sweat and semen.

[krystalepyon]

Kyoudai

Yuuta was willing to accept that he had been very foolish. So, despite how painful it was to lie beside his aniki all night, watching that oh so still body, he refused to leave Syusuke alone.

He’d already skipped one day of school, but he didn’t much care about that right now. He had a horrible fear that Syusuke had lain down, and would simply refuse to get back up again, so he stuck it out, sleeping very little all night, and barely moving an inch.

He was highly uncomfortable, what with the semen drying inside of him and on his belly, but he didn’t dare even wipe it away. If he moved, Syusuke might break.

He must have dropped off from sheer exhaustion, because he was alone in the bed when he woke up in the morning. His aniki should have been at morning practice by then, so that wasn’t too unusual.

There was no note left for him, no message with their sister – who was very mad at Yuuta for skipping school – and no hint anywhere of what had occurred last night. It was almost as if the world planned to go about its business as usual.

And it probably did.

*

Not quite. Why? Because Fuji, Syusuke was a living train wreck.

Given one word to describe him that morning, ten out of ten people would have used the word: blank.

He rose from the bed, expressionless, and never looked back at his sleeping brother even once. He showered, dressed, collected his things, and then set off to morning practice.

Until the moment he reached the school gates – very early – he wore nothing but a passive mask, and thought nothing but that he did not want to think. Then, his smile clicked automatically into place, and he continued on.

It was very early. Tezuka would be practicing…

The captain had no idea what hit him. He was dragged into the locker rooms, unresisting only because he was waiting to hear why Fuji was there so early. As the door slammed behind them, he was shoved up against the wall, and kissed, hard, by a rather aggressive tensai.

Fuji only relaxed when he felt warm lips under his own that did not belong to his brother. He only released the strangle-hold on his mind when he felt a body that was not Yuuta’s pressed against his own. His hands slid up into shaggy hair that was long enough to really run his fingers through, and he replaced that sensation with the memory of short, bristly strands.

In short, he intended to use Tezuka to re-write what had happened with Yuuta the night before.

Shocked and confused, Tezuka actually kissed him back for a few seconds before beginning to struggle and push Fuji away. When he succeeded, he ran his own hand through his hair as if to shake the lingering sensation.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Tezuka snapped.

Fuji growled. He overcame the one hand feebly attempting to hold him off, and pushed Tezuka back up against the wall.

“There is so much wrong with me that you can’t possibly even imagine,” he snarled, his aggression aimed more at himself than at Tezuka.

Tezuka didn’t struggle again, but he shook his head weakly. “What’s gotten into you?” he asked quietly. “Fuji, what are you doing?”

“I don’t know!” Fuji snapped. “Tezuka, please don’t push me away,” he begged suddenly. He wasn’t sure if he was really that desperate, or if he was just changing tactics, or if he really wanted the captain as much as he had wanted Yuuta last night. He wasn’t sure of anything.

Tezuka moved, and Fuji strengthened his hold, but gentle fingers took a stray stand of hair between them, replace it where it was supposed to be, causing Fuji to flinch at the sheer sweetness of the gesture. The tension drained out of his arms, until he felt more like he was leaning on Tezuka than pinning him.

“Talk to me,” Tezuka whispered. “I’ll listen.”

“I don’t want to talk.” Fuji shook his head. He wouldn’t – he couldn’t repeat what had happened last night.

“No,” Tezuka breathed. “You just want to use me.”

Fuji almost made to argue that, but he couldn’t. After several seconds, he looked down, unable to meet Tezuka’s eyes.

“Would it help?” Tezuka asked, his hand sliding into Fuji’s hair, playing with it. “Would it make all the problems go away?”

Slowly, Fuji raised his eyes. Tezuka was staring back at him so seriously. The least he could do was answer honestly.

“I don’t know. For all I know, it could make everything so much worse, but… right now… It need it.” He corrected himself. “I need you.”

Somehow, Tezuka took his keys from his pocket, one hand still wound into Fuji’s hair. He shuffled Fuji backwards and leaned over to lock the door, and then the keys were gone again, and both his hands were on Fuji’s face. The tensai melted into the kiss, full of both relief and guilt, though he smothered the latter for the time being at least.

*

Tezuka really didn’t know what he was thinking. He didn’t know what was going on behind the scenes. He knew something was badly wrong with Fuji somewhere outside of school – probably at home – but he didn’t know what, or how else to deal with it, other than to give the tensai what he wanted.

If Fuji wanted to have sex with him to forget whatever was so very messed up… Well, Tezuka wasn’t sure what he thought about that. It certainly didn’t bode well, and it hurt like hell to be used like this. But on the other hand, if Fuji wouldn’t talk, then what else could Tezuka do other than stand aside and watch his tensai sink into misery?

Maybe Fuji would talk to him afterwards. Maybe he could prove that he could be trusted with whatever Fuji was hiding. Maybe he could make this a little more than meaningless.

Maybe not. But he wouldn’t know until he tried.

Fuji kissed like the devil. Every moment was both sinful and delicious, and every touch of tongues, lips, teeth, hands, bodies… everything drove Tezuka into the wildest, dizziest, most desperate state of arousal he had ever experienced.

He was too far gone to question why Fuji had packed lubricant in his school bag, and he couldn’t think clearly enough to argue too much when Fuji begged him to skip the prep and just take him. So, he spread a generous coating of lube on his aching erection, and then ran his hands over Fuji’s ass.

The tensai was bent over, his hands braced against the bench, and Tezuka took a moment just to look at him. Fuji’s hair fell over his face, but Tezuka knew he was flushed, and could see the rise and fall of Fuji’s body as he breathed deeply and raggedly. He slowly ran one hand over Fuji’s hip, and around, caressing the dripping, solid arousal hanging there.

“Tezuka,” Fuji moaned, arching into his hand.

Unable to wait any longer, Tezuka placed both hands squarely back on Fuji’s ass and then spread the cheeks with his thumbs. He shifted until his cock pressed against the tensai’s entrance, then took a small, clam breath before pushing inside.

His vision almost grayed at the effort it took to maintain his neutral expression whilst he sank into the hot, tight body of the boy he’d wanted since he’d discovered his hormones. All that kept him from losing control was the fear that he would hurt Fuji, but the tensai slowly rolled back to take him in further, and Tezuka had to close his eyes to stop them from rolling back into his head.

He stopped, roughly three quarters of the way in, pulled back a little, and then thrust in all the way. His risk was well rewarded with a beautiful cry of pleasure from Fuji, who threw back his head.

The tensai’s arms were trembling, and Tezuka suspected he would see curling toes, if he could just tears his gaze from what little he could see of Fuji’s blissful expression. They couldn’t maintain this for long.

Together, they sunk to their knees, Fuji resting his cheek against the bench as he panted heavily. Tezuka tightened his grip on Fuji’s hips and began to thrust.

*

Fuji liked to be on the bottom. He loved the feeling of being owned and dominated as someone took him roughly from behind. It was like punishment and reward for his sins, all in one.

He liked it when it was gentle and pleasant, but more than anything else, he loved it when it hurt. It was a wonderful way to punish himself for everything he’d ever done wrong in his life. Besides, the pain had become a pleasure of its own.

The perfect balance of pain and pleasure was exactly what he needed. And Tezuka was exactly the right person to give that to him.

Somehow, Tezuka just seemed to know what he needed, and every thrust, every caress – everything – wiped Fuji’s conscience and memory clean for the time being. He could hardly think of anything else with Tezuka pounding him so wonderfully brutally.

It wasn’t really ‘rough sex’, but it was enough to send him over the edge, clawing at the wildly rocking bench to keep from toppling over.

*

Tezuka came harder than he ever had in his life, gripping Fuji’s hips as he jerked and trembled. He silently mouthed the tensai’s name, responding to the scream of his own as Fuji’s orgasm hit first.

He knew no-one would be in the vicinity yet, but if they were, he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything but the fact that he had just had the most incredible sexual experience of his young life.

Shakily, he carefully pulled out of Fuji, then flopped onto his ass. Who was worried about looking graceful when they were temporarily feeling exhausted?

Tezuka smiled almost goofily as Fuji snuggled up to him, their sweaty skin slipping and sliding. He held the tensai loosely, pressing a fond kiss to shaggy brown hair.

“Thank you,” Fuji whispered. “I don’t know what else to say.”

“Tell me what happened,” Tezuka urged, knowing he was pushing his luck, but unable to resist, given the opening.

Fuji was silent for a few seconds. “I don’t want you to be disgusted with me.”

“I won’t,” Tezuka promised, wondering what could possibly be so bad. “…If you tell me, I’ll tell you a secret. One that means I could never think badly of you.”

“Tell me first,” Fuji bargained, and Tezuka was relieved to hear the sneakiness in his muffled voice.

Tezuka looked down at the incredible boy in his arms. Fuji’s mouth was covered by the arm thrown around Tezuka’s neck, and the tensai’s eyes stared a little distantly at the far wall. He looked beautiful. He always looked beautiful.

“I love you.”

*

Fuji cringed. Why, oh why hadn’t he expected that?

“Tezuka...”

“Don’t say anything,” Tezuka warned him quietly. “At least, not about that. I told you my secret, now it’s your turn.”

“I’m so sorry,” Fuji whispered, realizing that he’d made ‘big mistake #2’ by using Tezuka to void his first screw up. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Tezuka didn’t reply. Letting out the breath, Fuji slowly opened his eyes again. “This isn’t going to be easy to hear.”

“Fuji… As curious as I am, I really just want to help you with whatever is hurting you so much. Please, tell me,” Tezuka asked, his arms tightening fractionally.

Fuji mused that he was probably the most selfish, heartless bastard in all the world. “I slept with Yuuta last night,” he admitted quietly, and a little too casually.

Truthfully, he expected the Earth to shake apart, and acid to spit down from the heavens. None of that happened.

“I see.”

When it became apparent that Tezuka didn’t intend to say more, Fuji moved back to stare at him incredulously. He laughed derisively as he said, “I tell you I fucked my brother, and all you have to say is ‘I see?’”

Tezuka continued to stare at the far wall, pulling Fuji back against him as if unwilling to give up the closeness they’d achieved while it still lasted.

“What should I say?” Now Tezuka looked down at him, and Fuji settled more against his chest, his hand resting lightly on the captain’s shoulder. “I don’t need to tell you its wrong. You obviously know that. I can’t pretend to understand… Do you expect me to angry?”

“Yes,” Fuji whispered sullenly. “Why aren’t you angry?”

“It’s not my place to be angry, Fuji,” Tezuka replied quietly. “You probably can’t tell, but I’m shocked, and even a little hurt – I can’t help it – but I think what you want is for Yuuta to be angry and justify your guilt.”

Fuji was simply astounded by the instant analytical capabilities Tezuka possessed. No wonder the captain was so phenomenal at tennis. Fuji hadn’t even come to that conclusion yet, and HE was the tensai.

“What should I do?” Fuji all but whimpered, practically clinging to Tezuka in the fear that there was nothing he could do at all.

“Do you love him?” Tezuka asked after a moment. Fuji could hear in his voice how hard that question was for him, and how important.

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything. I’m so confused, or else I don’t think I would have… done what I did last night.” Fuji took a deep breath, turning his face into Tezuka’s chest. “He’s my brother. I’ve always loved him, but… either that love has changed so subtly I never noticed, or I really don’t feel any differently than before – which frightens me. Tezuka, I don’t know how long I’ve wanted him like this. For all I know, I always have.”

“I… I don’t have any answers for you,” Tezuka admitted sadly. “I wish I did, but all I can say is that…” he paused, seeming to re-organize his thoughts. “What I want doesn’t matter. If it did, I wouldn’t have done this with you. I did it for your sake, because I want to do anything I can to make you happy, whether it’s right or wrong.”

“So you’re saying that if I really love Yuuta, I should put aside my own doubts and fears and leave the final decision up to him. Whatever that may be.” Oh, it was such an easy out. And it made sense, too.

“Essentially, yes.”

The tension in Tezuka’s body reminded Fuji that maybe it wasn’t so easy after all. No, it wasn’t easy at all to sacrifice your opinion, morals, peace of mind, and pride for the one you loved.

Slowly, Fuji raised his head. He looked into Tezuka’s eyes, then softly pressed his lips against the captain's in a gentle, lingering kiss. It was the best ‘thank you’ he could give.

“How do you feel?” Tezuka asked, once Fuji finally pulled back.

“Like I just hurt a really good friend I never knew I had,” Fuji replied, smiling sadly.

“I meant physically.” Thank goodness Tezuka sounded amused, or Fuji might have cried.

“I’ll be fine,” he said, now smiling for real.

TBC...

T.T

I didn't mean to be so utterly cruel to Tezuka. I swear. Oh wow, I feel as bad as Fuji.

Don't even ask me to make this Tezuka/Fuji in the end, cause I just don't know what's going to happen. Anything could happen. This is originally Fuji/Yuuta, though, and it really should stay that way, cause god knows I'm writing more than enough Tezuka/Fuji fics...

A/N: Edited. ^.^ Yay. Now, if I can just round everything up...

[melichan]

This is probably the best Fujicest story I have ever! read.

[Mashou no Tenshi]

I LOVED struggeling with his desires not so in control anymore Fuji (Syusuke) and Yuuta is exactly as I love him more, with inicitaive, spark, completely endearing and a sweet chocolate wating to be eaten (?) *knows she has problems*
I read across Tezuka/Fuji cause I REALLY can´t handle than.
I don´´t want for the brothers to let social prejudice separate them, they belong together. Besides, Syusuke has to get up on his feet and accept little Yuuta!
Anyway, great fic (even if you are a cheating sempai like Arai, and shouldn´t be like that)

Random: Ever noticed how we usually call Syusuke Fuji and Yuuta Yuuta instead of Fuji?

[krystalepyon]

lol Yeah, but it's like that in the anime, too. Fuji, and Fuji's little brother.

Thanks girls. ^.^ (And I had a feeling you'd skip over the Tezu/Fuji. )

[melichan]

I read the whole thing! =D *feels proud XD*

[krystalepyon]

lol! XD

[Lovux The Great]

I'm usually utterly disgusted by the bare thought of incest and that some people find it appealing... But this was something different. You actually brought up the inner turmoils inside the head of someone who desires their own sibling, and you made it very realistic.
Also, you didn't make it to your standard Fujicest fic where Yuuta's the one being molested by his evil brother, but you dared to switch the roles. Lots of bonus points for that!

I skipped the TezuFuji so I can't comment on that one.

But to summarize this, you surely do have a talent for writing. Keep up the good work and your stories will be modern classics. Awesome.

[krystalepyon]

^.^ Thanks Lovux!!

I'm glad you were able to read it! That's my aim in writing incest. To make it so people aren't put off by the taboo factor, but rather interested in the psychological factor. I also HATE to do things the way everyone else does, so it feels good to hear that.

XD

[hakuryu]

AMAZING!

Really LOVE it!

Auntie, you know I'm a HUUUUGE Syuusuke fan, and I'm TOTALLY into Fujicest!!!!
WONDERFUL, really!!

Obviously, I skipped most of the TezuxFuji part. But is was beautiful, how you expressed their feeilngs, their tension, their pain...incredible!!!

Congratulations, Auntie Krystal!!!!!!

[krystalepyon]

^.^ Glad you enjoyed it, Haku-chan! I'll try and write something Fuji-full and Tezuka-less for you some day. How do you feel about Fuji/Ryouma?

[hakuryu]

Thank youuu!!!! *hugs her*

Um, Fuji/Ryoma is not my pairing really. I prefer more Fujicest.

And...no Tezuka...just for me ^////^ Auntie is GREEEAAAAAAT *glomps her strongly* Nyaaaa Thank you so much!!!!!!
I'll try to write something for you as well. Name the pairing. Cept for TezuFuji I can do anything for you ♥

[krystalepyon]

lol! Darn. I have a Tezuka-less Fuji/Ryouma but that's about it... Aside form my pure Golden Pair fic.

Hmmm, I shall have to work on tha one... ^.^

Let's see, a pairing not involving Tezuka...

Fuji/Taka-san? I've always wanted to see that cause they have such chemistry, but lord knows I'll never write it.